Freedom to Fail: Courtship and Career Development
It’s not the things you do that you regret, it’s the things you don’t do.
While in college I decided I did not want to end up in my 70s regretting that I didn’t do certain things — so I made a list of what I wanted to do professionally, and went out and did them: Journalism, politics, TV, movies, big league consulting. Well … I did most of them.
I failed at a few attempts.
I was never offered a top programming job at a Big 3 TV network. I never became a successful scriptwriter. But I didn’t regard these as failures — I was in there pitching, giving it all I had. And I came close.
My meeting with the President of the TV network was cancelled because he was invited to meet with the Pope. The Pope! I finessed an invitation to write a script for a TV sitcom and was toiling away when the show was cancelled. Poof!
These careers didn’t work out, but I kept pursuing other jobs that I wanted, and am better off for it. Every position I have ever had — except for the one I wrote about in my last newsletter – has been challenging, rewarding, lucrative and enjoyable.
It is OK to take a risk, to try, and to fail. No one gets what they truly want by playing it safe.
It’s like dating. In fact, I have long maintained that career development is a courtship.
Consider this: there’s someone you want to know sitting three offices away from you. If you take the risk of asking her out and she says “yes,” you may change your life forever! If she says “no,” you took the risk and failed, and your life remains the same as it was. No harm, no foul.
The worst outcome, though, is if you don’t risk asking her out, nothing gets changed — but for the rest of your life you may regret not asking and grow old wondering “what if…”
It’s not failing that damages people’s lives, it is the fear of failing.
The parallels between courtship and job search are stunning. You are attracted to someone (a career). You plan your approach strategy so they notice you (your resume). You persuade them to go out for coffee or lunch (the initial interview). Next, if they are interested, you do a casual dinner and a movie (the second-round interview). If there’s still interest, it’s onto dinner at an expensive restaurant (interview round 3). Then it’s “meet the parents” time (final interview). At that point, it’s either you are a couple (hired) or you are past tense (not).
I am not advocating taking stupid risks, just calculated ones. For example, you do not have to risk your job to look for a new career that you love. An effective job campaign can be done without interfering with your current job. The majority of my clients have been employed professionals who were fully attentive to their jobs while attending to their job searches. While often skeptical at the start, they took the risk of going after something better, and most succeeded.
When it comes to careers, as in dating, there’s no harm in “going for it.” The worst that can happen is that you are no better off than you were before. The best that can happen is that your life can become so very much better!
We can live with failure. It is much harder to love with regret. Your choice.
(For a musical illustration of the parallels between dating and career regret, click here and cursor to about 1 minute in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogwDQEyj7aA
If you are an attorney or senior executive and you have been thinking about “what else is out there,” or if you are not sure how to start a career transition process, get in touch with me for a virtual cup of coffee. You will receive a confidential, no-cost consultation to discuss your situation and goals, and will also get expert advice on how to launch your job campaign. To schedule a strategy call with me, click here: https://live.vcita.com/site/bruce.blackwell
If you would like to receive Beyond the Bar Newsletter every 2 weeks, just click on the “subscribe” button. If you have any questions about your career, click here.